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From DRAMAWIKI
YOU THINK YOU NEED HELP? MY WIFE BEATS ME WITH A STEEL BAT EVERY FUCKING MORNING JUST BECAUSE I GOTTA MAKE HER SOME FUCKING BREAKFAST AND SHE NEEDS TO GO WORK SO SHE CAN FUCK HER BOSS TO GET A RAISE AND WE GO TO HAWAII AND HAVE FUN BUT THAN I GOTTA SLEEP ON THE COUCH AND WATCH THE DOG PUKE BECAUSE HE JUST ATE SOME SHIT FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME AFTER I TOLD HIM NO BUT HE DOESN'T LISTEN JUST LOOKS UP AT ME WITH THOSE BIG GAY EYES ASKING FOR RAPE BECAUSE HE KNOWS I'M A FURFAG AND ID' DO BUT SHIT IF MY WIFE CAUGHT ME SHE'D GIVE ME HELL THAN TELL THE COPS AND I'D GO TO JAIL AND HE'D BE SAD AND I'D GET BUTTRAPED AND THAN MY WIFE WOULD DIVORCE AND GET MARRIED TO SOME BIG FAT WEALTHY PRICK WHO USES HER AS TRASH BUT I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I DON'T WANT THAT EVEN THOUGH SHE'S A WHORE AND A DICK AND I JUST WANT LOVE BUT CAN'T GET ANY JUST WAKING UP FUCKING TIRED AND HAVING TO MAKE A DAMN BREAKFAST FOR THAT BITCH BECAUSE SHE'S TOO BLONDE AND DUMB TO MAKE A FUCKING PANCAKE I MEAN FUCK IT'S NOT HARD YOU JUST BUY THAT QUICKMIX SHIT AT THE FUCKING STORE AND ADD THE EGGS AND WATER AND MIX IT UP AND THAN POUR IT IN THE PAN AND DAMN IT IT'S NOT THAT HARD WOMAN MAKE ME FUCKING SANDWICH SOMETIME LIKE ALL THE BITCHES AND SLAVES AND HOS USED TO DO IN THE MIDDLE AGES AND IN PRUSSIA I MEAN FUCK I HAVE A FUCKING COCK AND SO I CAN FUCK YOU ANYTIME I WANT BUT NO YOU WANNA WATCH THAT STUPID OPRAH SHIT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FEEL EMPOWERED AND YOU COME AFTER ME WITH YOUR KNIVES AND NEEDLES AND WHATEVER FUCK YOU HIDE UP YOUR SCANKY ASS SHIT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN USER? I GOT FUCKING PROBLEMS AND ISSUES OF MY OWN SO DON'T BE COMING HERE THINKING YOU'RE GETTING ANY HELP FROM ME SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN FOR A SECOND OKAY? I NEED SOME HELP I KNOW I'M THE HELP PAGE ON THIS WIKI BUT FUCK I NEED HELP I MEAN HOLY FUCK OF FUCK IN A FUCKING FUCKTY FUCK I NEED HELP I JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN OR WHAT TO DO OR ANY OF THAT OLD SHIT YOU KNOW? I'M FUCKING CRAZY I TELL YOU FUCKING DAMN SHIT NIGGER HELP ME OH FUCKING HELP DINGBAT BATSHIT INSANE CRAZY NOW GET ME A FUCKING BEER YOU SONUVA BITCH BEFORE I BREAK YOUR LITTLE NECK BETWEEN MY PINKIE AND MY THUMB BECAUSE I WILL FUCKING DO IT IF YOU DON'T GET ME THAT BROWN SHIT RIGHT NOW I SO FUCKING LOVE BEER AND ALCOHOL IT'S SO FUCKING AWESOME I JUST LOVE IT LOVE GETTING DRUNK LOVE BEING DRUNK IT'S AWESOME SHIT I FUCKING LOVE IT HELPS EASE MY PAIN AND I FUCKING LOVE IT I LOVE WHOEVER INVENTED BEER I WANNA FUCK HIM UP THE ASS AND THAN SLAP HIM ON THE BACK MAYBE SUCK HIS DUCK IF I'M DRUNK ENOUGH THAN GO OUT TO A BAR WITH HIM AND GET DRUNK SOME MORE FUCK IT'D BE SO WONDERFUL AND IT'D BE THE BEST DAY OF MY FUCKING PATHETIC LIFE BECAUSE FUCK ANY GOOD DAY WOULD BE THE BEST DAY YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? BUT FUCK BEING THE INVENTOR OF BEER THAT'S LIKE BEING IN THE PRESENCE OF A GOD HOLY FUCKITY FUCKING FUCKERS FUCK ON A MOTHERFUCKING FUCK I SWEAR I WOULD KIDNAP HIM AND HOLD HIM IN MY BASEMENT MAYBE FEED HIM RAISINS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE AND WE'LL HAVE AWESOME CONVERSATIONS ABOUT BEER AND SHIT AND I WOULD TOTALLY DOWN LIKE EIGHTY MILLION BOTTLES EACH DAY WITH THAT MAN I TOTALLY WOULD IT WOULD REALLY HELP ME OUT AND ME BEING THE HELP PAGE AND ALL I MEAN FUCK IT WOULD TOTALLY HELP OUT THIS WIKI BUT FUCK MY WIFE WOULD PROBABLY FIND OUT THAT STUPID BITCH AND SHE'D CALL THE COPS SO I'D GO TO JAIL AGAIN AND GET DOUBLE STUFFED AND GET SICK AND DIE OF FOOD POISON AND NIGGER BLOOD AND FUCK I DON'T WANT THAT I WANNA LIVE I WANNA EXPERIENCE LIVE I WANT A GOOD DAY IN MY MISERABLE FUCKING LIFE SON OF A BITCH I JUST WANT A GOOD DAY ONE GOOD DAY ONE FUCKING GOOD DAY WHERE SOMETHING GOES RIGHT AND THAT WHORE ISN'T SCREAMING AT ME TO CLEAN SOME SHIT OR FIX WHATEVER THE HELL SHE BROKE FUCK I HATE THAT YOU BROKE IT YOU FIX IT YOU DUMB BROAD FUCKING HELL EVEN THE DOG KNOWS THAT THE FUCKING DOG KNOWS BETTER HE FUCKING EATS HIS OWN SHIT HE CLEANS UP AFTER HIMSELF HE'S A GREAT DOG BUT FUCKING DUMB AS HELL HE RUNS INTO WALLS AND DOORS AND HE CHASES HIS TAIL CONSTANTLY LIKE A MORON I MEAN HELLO WAKE UP YOU STUPID MUTT IT'S YOUR FUCKING TAIL NOT A FUCKING TOY QUIT CHASING IT AROUND LIKE THAT YOU NEED A NEW HOBBY LIKE BITING THE WIFE OR POOPING ON HER SEWING KIT THAT'D TEACH THE BITCH WHO'S BOSS BECAUSE YOU KNOW I FUCKING WON'T DO THAT SHIT TOO FUCKING SCARED OF THAT PSYCHO WOMAN FUCK I NEED HELP I NEED A VACATION FUCK ME.